Work in Progress

I have been pondering a lot about this new permission I have given myself to make mistakes. Realizing that up till now I have truly been assuming tht whatever art I do it has to be perfect. When it is not, my back gets all tight and I am frustrated. It is way time to let this go. I realized this even more when I began taking this painting class and for the first time in my life I was afraid, intimidated, to put anything on the canvas! Now how was I expecting myself to paint perfectly when I was only beginning? Silly me. I think it has also something to do with my expectations of other peoples expectations. I have to remember, as Art and Fear so well pointed out, that I am not doing this to please the masses. I may please some people and that is wonderful. In fact I want to do this, but I also want to express myself freely without worrying what impression it makes. Even on myself. I tell my students all the time to leave the inner critic behind when they come into my classroom and yet I've been carrying her on my shoulders all this time. No wonder I have back problems!

So, in line with all this and my personal promise to draw everyday, I drew my breakfast, as Danny Gregory reccommends. It was awful and I wasn't awake. But, I did it and I'm going to continue every day to do the same, not breakfast that is, but drawing. I think this is a true necessity for all artists. Hopefully, it won't be so awful in the future and I will feel more confidence in putting down what I want quickly, without fiddling over the details. I love those details, but there is something to be said for confident, immediate response. Details can come after.

Otherwise, I got back to my batik yesterday and today, yipee! I was missing the texture as compared to the flatness of painting on canvas. I also realized that it is really a good idea to plan for entering competitions/shows. Gives me a solid reason to finish by a certain date other than thinking I would like to show the pieces I make someday...

Oil painting tomorrow and we will be exploring color! This time I am jumping in without checking the water temperature. It might be a bit cold at first, but I'll get used to it. Just have to swim, even if sometimes it is a dogpaddle and not the butterfly.